


Echo

by Miko_Doll



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Angst, Cliche, M/M, Post Movie, Two shots, When Hiro tried to lie to himself, hidashi, idk what to tag, oh!, on the second chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 06:44:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4511895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miko_Doll/pseuds/Miko_Doll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Say it again." Hiro demanded.</p><p>"Hiro..."</p><p>"Again."</p><p>"God, Hiro, do you like my voice so much?"</p><p>"Yes, I am." Hiro smiled fondly.</p><p>"It's time to sleep, now, kid."</p><p>"Mmkay." Hiro made himself comfortable on his bed, pulled the cover up to his nose. A pat to his head was so gentle and warm. "G'night, Tadashi."</p><p>"Good night, Hiro."</p><p>The recording stopped. His smile disappeared. The young genius opened his eyes, his deep and blank eyes, and looked at Baymax who was staring at him while patting his head, trying to get him into sleep.</p><p>"Replay."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Echo from the Past

**Author's Note:**

> So, actually, this is my very first bh6 fanfic I wrote. But, because I think many people have done this I never post it. Then, my grandma passed away several weeks ago and I think this is a good way to pour out my sadness, I don't know. This is cliche, I swear this is very cliche. So uh, happy reading??
> 
> Disclaimer: I have Baymax keychain but Disney won't give him to me so no, I own nothing. I also don't own the song 'At Dusk I will Think of You', the lyric's by Lizz and the instrument belong to Yoko Shimamura.
> 
> Oh! I made a mini comic based on the story's opening, you can find it here; http://mikorabbit.tumblr.com/post/122396899741/a-little-comic-from-my-fanfic-that-i-never  
> if you're interested, that is.

Echo from the Past

 

"Say it again." Hiro demanded.

 

"Hiro..."

 

"Again."

 

"God, Hiro, do you like my voice so much?"

 

"Yes, I am." Hiro smiled fondly.

 

"It's time to sleep, now, kid."

 

"Mmkay." Hiro made himself comfortable on his bed, pulled the cover up to his nose. A pat to his head was so gentle and warm. "G'night, Tadashi."

 

"Good night, Hiro."

 

The recording stopped. His smile disappeared. The young genius opened his eyes, his deep and blank eyes, and looked at Baymax who was staring at him while patting his head, trying to get him into sleep.

 

"Replay."

 

~Echo~

 

Nobody knew better than Tadashi and Aunt Cass that Hiro was very fluent at lying.

 

But even so, even the two of them sometimes couldn't blow his covers.

 

So for Hiro, to deceive his friends was a piece of cake.

 

~Echo~

 

It was a lovely morning. Morning sun rays broke through the curtains, illuminated the dark room into a dim. Birds sung a song, greeted the morning with their little tweets. Fresh air of morning danced around, supplying human's lung with pure air. The sounds of morning activities could be heard; the sound of early morning public transportation, of people who enjoy their morning excercise, or the sound of mothers prepared breakfast for her family.

 

As usual, Hiro awakened by the smell of Aunt Cass' cooking, seemed like today's breakfast is pancakes. He opened his eyes slowly, stared blankly at the ceiling, then pushed himself to a sitting position and stared blankly for a little longer at the wall across him. It was a morning ritual for Hiro and usually, it was Tadashi who pulled him out of his blank state but because there was no Tadashi anymore, Hiro had set Baymax to take that role. Or else, he would be like that until noon.

 

Baymax had set to be awoken at six thirty each morning, so when the nurse-bot was automaticly activated, he was greeted by a spaced-off Hiro. True to his program, the giant-marshmallow looking bot started his morning ritual too; pulled Hiro out of his reverie, watched and helped the clumsy teen to be ready for the day, then finally followed him downstairs.

 

"Morning, Aunt Cass." Hiro greeted her with a yawn.

 

Said aunt averted her attention from pancakes to her little nephew and smiled over her shoulder. "Morning, sunshine!" she cheered before went back to her pancakes again, "Ready for the day?"

 

The messy haired teen shrugged at her back as if she could see it. But it was okay for her because it was normal. Hiro was always more or less lifeless in the morning so his reaction was a bit slow or he wouldn't react at all. She knew the hellion teen would be as alive as a humming bird once his need for sugar had been satisfied.

 

With a cheery smile, she put the syrupy pancakes in front of him. Without missing a beat, Hiro shovelled them into his mouth. He ate so fast he looked like a squirrel stuffed nuts into its cheek. Aunt Cass giggled. "Slow down! It's not like the pancakes will run away from you."

 

"You never know." Hiro replied in a dead serious tone.

 

She threw her head back to laugh heartedly. "So, what are you going to do today?"

 

Hiro shrugged, gulped down his milk after the pancakes had disappeared and made the young genius wonder where he could get another portion of pancakes again. He loved sweets with great passion and it troubled his teeth so often that Tadashi and Aunt Cass limited his sweets consumption. He had threw a hissy fit when the rule was made, had gave them his best puppy eyes but they wouldn't budge. When he had tried to see the bright side of Tadashi's death (which was useless because there was no bright side of it, obviously), he thought he could eat as many sweets as he wanted but turned out that big bro had programmed Baymax to watch over his sugar consumption.

 

"You know, Aunt Cass." Hiro smiled again, his best doll-like smile. "Same old, same old."

 

~Echo~

 

Same old, same old.

 

Hiro always told himself that even though the phrase tasted alien for him. Because, it meant that everything happened like it used to be, right? And yet, he knew that there was a big change in his life.

 

So that phrase was a lie. And to make a lie believable, he _had_ to believe it.

 

~Echo~

 

Abigail Callaghan had come a month after the incident. She had brought the most delicious doughnuts in San Fransokyo as an offer and sat with Hiro and Aunt Cass. She had said she wanted Hiro to be there because he deserved to receive her act of contrition. She had told them that she was really, really sorry for the trouble and the lost. She also had thanked Hiro for saving her.

 

After all that jazz, she had surprised them by kneeled on the floor until her head touched the hard, cold ceramic and begged them to please, please, please forgive his father.

 

Aunt Cass was the first to react after several minutes of silence, she had crouched in front of her and told her to raise her head because it was okay, extremely okay, because Tadashi was just being Tadashi on that day and he would live in regret had he not run into the burning building to help. She had said he was happy in heaven now and had said she was so proud to be an Aunt of a young hero.

 

But Hiro had said nothing.

 

Before she left, she had told Hiro that Callaghan wanted to meet him so bad to apologize in person.

 

Hiro didn't give an answer.

 

With a sad smile and _"Please think about it."_ , she was gone.

 

The gangly teen had sweet tooth, yet he didn't even touch the doughnuts.

 

~Echo~

 

"You still here, buddy?"

 

Hiro snapped his head from his computer screen to the source of voice and saw Wasabi stood in front of Tadashi's—his, _his_ persobal lab's door with an amused expression. "Uh..." The gangly teen exhaled the breath he had unconsciously held, "hi, Wasabi?"

 

The young man, who love green so much even though he always deny it and yet he wore green every day, walked closer and Hiro's heart thundered against his ribcage. "What are you doing this late?"

 

"I--uh..." He turned around on his swivel chair and quickly minimized the current window on his screen before Wasabi had a chance to take a glimpse, "You know, programming my new bot project."

 

"Yeah?" The neatfrik raised a thick eyebrow, "What are you working at?"

 

"Mm... This, actually." Hiro showed him his new bot called SpiderCop and Wasabi shrieked; "Eeww!! Don't come closer!!" while waving his hands wildly.

 

The almost-fifteen boy showed him how does it work and why it is called that. It was a tiny robot who would help cops in San--no, the _world_. It could be use to arrest criminals by stung them with liquid that would turn their muscle into a jell-o, or, it would spit sticky slime ("GROSS!!") at their feet or hand and the slime would froze in a second and acted as a handcuff. Hiro said he had equipped it with a scanner like Baymax's so the SpiderCop could pinpoint a crime in disguise.

 

"If this is done, I'll mass-produce it and they will be just like my old Microbot!" He finished his speech.

 

Wasabi looked amused. "SpiderCop, huh? Cool. But, it'll look way cooler if you could present it like you did just now to the professor in class."

 

Hiro groaned. If he loved sweets with passion, he _loathed_ public speaking with _burning_ passion.

 

The college student with dark complexion laughed. "Well, that aside, how are you going to give a presentation to your Aunt about why aren't you home this late?"

 

The child prodigy was bewildered for a moment before his eyes turned wide in realization and snapped his head to the clock. Nine thirty. "Oh, sweet lord, she's going to kill me!" he panicked and grew pale when he fished out his cell from his hoodie pocket and saw hundreds miscalls and texts from her. A second later, as if she knew her nephew finally touched his cell, his ringtone (a super metal-rock song which made Wasabi cringe) yelled at him.

 

"Worse, she'll do something worse than kill me." He muttered to himself. He gulped once and braced himself then answered the call; "Hel—"

 

"HIRO HAMADA!! I SWEAR TO GOD—"

 

Hiro had to take the phone away from his ear to save him from being half-deaf. They even could hear her screeched at her nephew when the phone was held at arm-length.

 

Wasabi laughed nervously at his little friend's horrified expression and mouthed "I'll wait outside." when Hiro pleaded with his eyes to rescue him. He was gone even before he could hear the troubled teen hissed "Traitor!" at his back.

 

After ten minutes and "I'm sorry, Aunt Cass. I'm terribly sorry! I'm on my way home now. Uh--nonono you don't have to, I catch a ride from Wasabi. Yeah, yeah, see you." his aunt finally let him go. He dropped to his swivel chair and sighed loudly. Aunt Cass only let him go because she would give him hell later in house. Hiro shuddered. He reminded himself to be more careful and set an alarm next time he was so preoccupied with something. Aunt Cass' lecture was way worse than Tadashi's. She would yell, screech, and going off topic, ranting about this and that before she confused herself and let him go.

 

He chuckled briefly when he remembered the time Aunt Cass gave hell to Tadashi because he was late and didn't give her any text about it. He remembered Tadashi was grounded to wash all dishes from the café for a week and it made his hands itched. The baseball fan had told Hiro that it was the worst punishment ever because Tadashi didn't like washing dishes. Hiro always thought it was weird because he liked cleanness, not like Wasabi who worshipped it though, but he prefer to clean the café with broom and napkin, and mop, and all, and would gave the unfavourable task to his little brother. Maybe it because he liked to move around than stand still. Tadashi had complained all week to him about how his heels and calves were killing him and forced Hiro to pity him and _"Please be a good boy and massage your pathetic big bro."_

 

The memory of his brother made him remembered his coffin and his tombstone, the funeral and the rain, the people who came to comfort him and Aunt Cass and the flowers. He hated the flowers. He hated the faceless people in black who told him they were sorry for the lost. He hated the condolences. He hated the way everybody pitied him. He hated the fact his brother was not there anymore.

 

Hiro turned on his swivel chair, facing the flat screen one more time. He maximized the previous window and stared at the screen numbly.

 

Hiro was very fluent at lying. Lying to his friends was a piece of little cake.

 

His SpiderCop project had done a week ago so there was no need to program the little bot anymore.

 

On the screen was artificial voice software Hiro had downloaded and modified since Abigail Callghan's visit.

 

He stretched out an empty smile when he saved his latest work to a purple chip. "Let's talk at home, Tadashi."

 

~Echo~

 

As expected, Aunt Cass gave him hell the moment she saw him. She screeched at him with one hand on hip and another held doughnut and she occasionally paused to bite and chew on her donuts. "Stress eating! Because of you!" she said when Hiro gave her a disapproving look on her third doughnut. She then moved from how Hiro always made her worry to how she had finished two bags of chips, two slices of shortcake while waiting for him, and now, she couldn't stop eating donuts. The messy haired teen felt guilty, even Mochi looked at him accusingly.

 

Twenty minutes later, Aunt Cass finally let him escaped to his room. Hiro hugged her briefly before rushed up his room and greeted by Baymax. "You are late."

 

Hiro shrugged, "Yeah, sorry for that. I've been preoccupied with something in lab." He sniffed at himself and frowned. "I'll take a bath."

 

"Take a bath at this time can make you catches a cold."

 

The founder of superhero group groaned. "Look, can you let it slide this time? I feel disgusting, I really need one right now, a brief bath won't do me harm, okay?" Without waiting for any reply, he grabbed random t-shirt on the floor and a pyjama pants on the table before proceeded to the bathroom.

 

He intended to just take a really brief bath that included a quick splash to face, hair, and body, clean his messy hair with a little shampoo, rubbed his body with soap, and then another splash to whole body. But the intended quick bath turned into a full fifteen minutes because he was spacing out under the shower for ten minutes and hurriedly washed his body for another ten minutes.

 

"You took twenty minutes for a brief bath." Baymax informed helpfully when Hiro finally came back with fresh clothes on, wet hair, and a fluffy towel on top of his head.

 

"That's really informative." He rolled his eyes as he sat on his bed and searched about in his backpack for the purple chip.

 

The giant-marshmallow looking nurse-bot tilted his head slightly. "Your hair is soaking wet, you can catch a cold."

 

"That's fine. I'll be okay." Hiro said absentmindedly, paid no attention at the water drop which dripped from his hair. Baymax walked closer and dried the young genius' wet hair. He could feel the light massage at his scalp. It was so comfortable and made him sleepy. It was so nice he remembered the long fingers that used to do that for him. It was so comfy he had to swat Baymax's hands away. The robot took several steps back as if he was surprised.

 

"Enough." He said. "Here's the purple chip." Hiro held out the chip, demanded silently for him to come closer so he could open his access.

 

Baymax stared at him for a while before Hiro finally lost his patience, stood up, stomped to the robot and opened the access. He put the chip and closed the access quickly. Baymax didn't say anything and Hiro won't look up. The gangly teen's breath was heavy, his hands clenched, and he bit his lower lip.

 

They had been through this so many times. Baymax had talked to him about this so many times. Hiro had refused to listen so many times. He was so tired of the talks and, in the end, banned his personal healthcare companion to against this anymore. But the result, the silence and the tension, became too unbearable as time flew by it made Hiro felt suffocated. Yet, Hiro stubbornly hung on there, stubbornly drown himself and held his breath as long as he could.

 

Hiro turned on his heels with his head hung low. He lied on his bed, pulled the blanket over his body, then closed his eyes. He knew Baymax won't go against him. He just knew. Because Tadashi wouldn't.

 

A pat on his head proved him right. Baymax rubbed his head gently and played the record Hiro had done.

 

~Echo~

 

"Hiro..."

 

"Tadashi."

 

A deep chuckle. "So what's the story for today, bonehead?"

 

"Nothing much. Wasabi almost caught me back in the lab, though."

 

"Really?"

 

"Mmhmm..."

 

"How's your classes?"

 

"It's fine."

 

"Are you sleepy?"

 

"A little."

 

"Go to sleep then."

 

"I don't want to sleep now."

 

"Then what do you want to do?"

 

"Just... Keep talking... Call my name."

 

"Hiro..."

 

"...Again..."

 

"Hiro..."

 

"Again..."

 

"We'll talk later, you need sleep for now."

 

Hiro hesitated. He knew what he should say, he had memorized the scenario by heart and if he didn't say his part soon, the time would run out and the recording would leave him behind. But still, he wavered. There was something he needed to say, or ask, or maybe there was nothing at all. But he needed to spit something out before the lump in his neck throttled him. "Tadashi--"

 

"G'night, big baby."

 

The recording stopped.

 

Hiro wanted to scream.

 

He shut his eyes tighter, instead.

 

~Echo~

 

Hiro was very fluent at lying.

 

But he couldn't lie about what would happen to a drowning man.

 

What would happen to a drowning man?

 

He would be _suffocated._

~Echo~

 

The next morning, Hiro felt like he was underwater. Literally. Everything was blurry and hazy, his body felt heavy yet light at the same time. He wanted to sit, but his body felt boneless. He wasn't able to do anything, so he just stared at the ceiling numbly and wondered why his posters glued at the ceiling multiplied and danced in circle.

 

 _"Hiro, are you okay?"_ A familiar voice asked.

 

Hiro looked to the side and found a concerned Tadashi there. Suddenly, he felt like he was ten again, like when following Tadashi around was the only thing that matters.

 

Tadashi put the back of his palm on Hiro's forehead, measured his temperature traditionally. _"Wow, you're burning. What did I say about taking a shower late at night? Hm?"_

Hiro saw it again, though it was blurry, the concerned and angry look on his big brother's face. The younger Hamada wanted to touch the hand on his forehead, wanted to hold it tight and never to let go. But his body felt so weak he couldn't even raise a finger and, on top of that, he was scared if Tadashi would vanish into thin air like his so many dreams before.

 

 _"I'll go call Aunt Cass, okay?"_ The older Hamada pulled his hand away.

 

Hiro stared wide-eyed at him. Tadashi will go?

 

 _"You stay here and for the love of anyone up there don't move even for an inch, get it?"_ He stood up and walked away toward the stairs leading to the family room where Aunt Cass was probably busy preparing waffles for breakfast.

 

Hiro panicked, his mind was screaming at him, telling him to move, to hold his hand, to yell at him to _please don't GO! The building was BURNING for GOD'S SAKE!_

 

He understood what he should do, his body, however, refused to listen and stubbornly glued him onto the bed. His heart hammered against his ribcage painfully as if it was throwing a tantrum and trying to break free and run to Tadashi to stop him itself when said young man walked further and further, straight to the fire.

 

Hiro tried to open his mouth, he tried to yell, to say something, _anything,_ to make his brother stopped at his track, to make everything right, to make everything _stopped._

_Tadashi stop... STOP! Stop running toward the burning building! Stop feeling responsible of everything! Stop being contemptuous of your own safety! STOP TRYING TO BE A HERO!_

He gritted his teeth, forced his voice to come out. Hiro opened and closed his mouth, but only bubbles he could produce from his mouth. He was drowning deeper into the water while Tadashi was walking deeper into the fire.

 

At last, he finally snapped, and roared; "DON'T GO!"

 

Tadashi stopped, and turned his head toward him. He panted and the world swayed. He narrowed his eyes, attempting to see his brother’s expression but the view was so blurry it confused him. At one moment, he thought he saw Baymax there, but then, it was Tadashi again.

 

His head was spinning, his body felt so heavy.

 

He saw Tadashi in the middle of great fire, smiling up at him affectionately.

 

Before he faded into darkness, he thought he heard his big bro said;

 

_"I'm sorry, Hiro."_

~Echo~

 

Hiro had come to visit Callaghan two weeks after Abigail begged him to do so. He had gone alone without telling anyone, even Aunt Cass didn't know about it. He had taken the bus, had took the cable car, and had walked the rest of the way there. He had told the front desk he would like to meet Mr. Robert Callaghan and had told that Mr. Callaghan was expecting him to see him when the adults gave him a doubtful look.

 

 _"I'm Hiro Hamada, if you watch the news, you'll know who I am."_ He had said when the look didn't change.

 

They had immediately apologized to him upon hearing his last name. They had told Hiro to sit and wait for a moment. When said teen turned on his heels to do what they said, he heard the whispered to each other about _"He is the younger brother."_ and, _"Poor boy. His brother had died for nothing."_

After had been waiting for five minutes, they had finally escorted him to the room where he could meet Callaghan. He had to wait for two more minutes, but it was fine, it wasn't like he was in a rush, though. So he had waited patiently, or that was what they thought for Hiro had just stares at his palms silently. They didn't know the teen's mind was blank with capital B. They didn't need to know that, anyhow.

 

Hiro had been thinking about his cell phone (which was in silent mode) in his hoodie pocket, had been wondering if Aunt Cass somehow found out and tried to reach him, had been imagining her asked Baymax to search him, when finally the door opened and Callaghan could be seen.

 

Hiro had sensed him stiffened at the sight of him, he didn't need to raise his head to see it, he just knew. He could hear his footsteps, the scratch of the chair against the floor, and the closed door. Hiro had waited for a while before finally raised his head slowly and met the older man's eyes.

 

Callaghan had put a sad expression. Very sad, and tired at the same time. He had looked like he was facing death itself, like he was the one who _lost everything_ , and Hiro had wanted nothing than ripped his head from his neck.

 

Hiro was very fluent at lying. He could know when one was lying and the sad expression was just an act, a mask to cover the evil in him. The teen knew it. He just knew it. He could see through the lie, and even if the one who was lying is himself, it was still a lie because you could lie to yourself and you could believe it.

Hiro had just stared unblinkingly. Abigail had said he wanted to talk, so let's see what he's going to say and watch if Hiro would believe any of it.

 

 _"I am sorry."_ the old man had finally said. His voice was shaky, but his eyes firmly locked at Hiro. _"I shouldn't have done it. I was so stupid."_

Was? Hah! Hiro had wanted to laugh.

 

_"I am so sorry. I know I don't deserve your mercy but at least I want you to know that I regret everything I did every day."_

I, I, I... He had kept talking about himself. What a selfish rotten man.

 

_"It was unfair for you, very unfair. I wish I could do something to make it up to you but I understand that nothing I give or do will bring you everything you had lost back. I understand because I've through what--"_

_"Understand?"_ Hiro inquired. His voice was so low and icy. _"What do you understand?"_

Callaghan had looked like the teen across him had slapped him. When he didn't say something and just stared wide-eyed, Hiro had snorted and had formed a tiny, thin smile. _"You got something you had lost back. You got Abigail back to your embrace. What do you understand about me?"_

Another moment of silence. Callaghan had looked hurt. _"Unfair, you said, huh? You want to make it up to me, right? Fairness sounds tempting right now."_

The prisoner had looked scared now, all colour had left his face. If Hiro was insane, he would have laugh, or maybe he _was_ insane because he didn't laugh. Hiro could feel it, the cold blood running all over his body. _"What about this; I lost something because of you, to be fair, I could take something from you, am I right?"_

Callaghan had just kept quiet. He had looked like he was going to faint dead away.

 

Hiro's empty and mirthless smile had lingered, he had mocked the old man with his smile.

 

_"Yeah... That's what I thought."_

Hiro had left the room.

 

Aunt Cass never knew about it. Baymax never knew about it. Hiro never talked about it. They never knew that everything which had come in through his mouth had come out through the same way that night.

 

~Echo~

 

Hiro dreamed.

 

He was ten again, and Tadashi was seventeen, and Aunt Cass was thirty two and complained about grey streak on her hair every day.

 

They were having breakfast; scrambled egg with a lot of cheese, Tadashi's favorite. They laughed, chatted, same old same old, like a movie being replayed.

 

Then, Tadashi stood up, and Hiro stood up too because following Tadashi around and made sure his brother was annoyed was very amusing. Both of them walked out, straight to the darkness, but it was okay because the older Hamada was shining like a candle light, like a firefly. So Tadashi walked in front of him, because it was how it supposed to be and Hiro skipped behind him because it was what he had to do.

 

But then, something went wrong. Hiro didn't know what happened, but Tadashi was being further and further and Hiro couldn't catch up. He wanted to yell at him, tell him to wait for him, to never leave him behind, to bring him with him.

 

Eventually, Tadashi came to a halt and smile warmly at Hiro.

 

_"I can't bring you with me, brother."_

Hiro drowned. Fast.

 

~Echo~

 

When Hiro opened his eyes, he stared blankly at the ceiling. The posters didn't dancing anymore, but it still felt like he was underwater. He noticed the cool, damp cloth on his forehead, it was so nice and comfy and Hiro knew Aunt Cass was the one who put it there.

 

He swept his gaze to the right side and stopped at the sight of Aunt Cass in front of Tadashi's side of the room. She stood there, with one hand at the divider. He couldn't see her face, but he knew without knowing that she was wondering why the over-protective brother wasn't there to take care of his little brother, knew without knowing that she was trying so hard to be honest to herself and face the truth.

 

Hiro didn't understand why she was trying so hard. Didn't she know it was easier to lie to herself and believe in it?

 

Aunt Cass' back looked so defeated, and, for once since his death, Hiro wanted to punch his brother.

 

~Echo~

 

_"I'm planning to pilgrimage to Tadashi's grave on the one hundred days mark since his demise, what do you think?"_

 

Hiro had almost dropped the utensils on his hands when Aunt Cass had declared her plan. Fortunately his instinct had reacted so fast his fingers tightened its grasp on the utensils. He slowly turned his attention on his Aunt who smiled widely at him like she was so sure Hiro would love the idea, like she was so sure they would have a blast on that day, like it was the best idea she had come up with.

 

The memory of his funeral and the rain, the coffin and the grave, the faceless people and their flowers was enough to make him lost his appetite. He even wanted to throw up on the spot. He didn't know what would happen if he set his feet in front of Tadashi's tombstone. The teen had thought he could avoid that place forever, had thought that he didn't have to see the name written on the tombstone, but apparently Aunt Cass had thought pilgrimage was a very good idea.

 

Hiro had wanted to say no, he had thought a lot of excuses he could give his Aunt. So he had surprised himself that day and until this very moment, he still wondered why he had smiled and nodded eagerly then said;

 

_"That's cool."_

That night, he modified the recording he had done before to suit the situation. He had wondered what Tadashi would say about his little brother visited his grave and he thought the dialogue was a bit funny that time.

 

_"Hey, Tadashi, Aunt Cass is planning on visiting your grave. What do you think about it?"_

How funny it was to be able to speak with a deceased man? It would feel like he didn't really gone, like he was hiding the supposedly dead man. It was what he had thought when he first made the recordings with Tadashi's voice. Hiro had thought it would help him feel like his brother was not really gone, to help him cope with the loneliness, to help him remember his voice.

He wanted to lie to himself and live in it. In a world of lies where Tadashi was still alive and solid, safe and sound, like the real life was a dream, a nightmare, a cruel lie.

_"Really? Man, how long is it since I was gone?"_

But how cruel it was if the truth was being thrown in front of your face by the lie you had made by youself? For Hiro, it felt like Tadashi had punched him on his stomach, knocked all oxygen away from him, like Tadashi had drowned him in cold water, forced him to fill his lungs with water.

The recording had said nothing wrong, but Hiro's stomach suddenly churned and he could taste a bile rose to his throat. The teen fought it back. He had closed his eyes shut tightly and had grabbed his stomach. It was a very bad idea, he didn't know it would feel like this. He didn't know to hear his brother admitted his own death would hurt him so badly.

 

_"Almost a hundred days? Wow! Time really does fly by. Hey, could you do me a favor--"_

Baymax didn't get to play the recording until it was done because Hiro had threw up on the floor, tears flowed down his cheeks and ended on his chin where they dripped from its end mingled with the disgusting vomit.

 

Hiro loved sweets with undying passion. That's why he liked lies because the truth tasted awfully sour and disgusting.

 

~Echo~

 

It was dark when Hiro opened his eyes for the third time that day. He stared at the ceiling again, counting the numerous posters he had glued there since he was seven. Hiro stopped when he reached ten because the poster next to the tenth was belonged to Tadashi. It was no poster, but it was a robot design made by the older Hamada when he was sixteen and Hiro had thought it was super cool and had seized it.

 

Hiro stared at it for a little longer before finally pushed himself into a sitting position. He perceived a presence beside him and when he looked at it, he saw Aunt Cass there. She was fallen asleep with only her head on the bed. The café owner must have been by his side after she had closed the café. Hiro wondered if she had closed it early and he felt a pang of guilt consumed him.

 

He sensed another movement and found Baymax on the other side of the bed, staring down on him silently with his innocent expression. "Your fever has come down a little." he informed.

 

Hiro pushed down the urge to laugh and shook his head before whispered; "You're unbelievable. Can't you keep it down? Aunt Cass is sleeping right in front of your eyes, genius."

 

Baymax blinked and turned down his volume. "I am sorry."

 

"Nah, that's cool." Hiro whispered as he discarded the blanket off his body and got off the bed. The short teen gestured to the nurse-bot to help him moved Aunt Cass onto the bed. Baymax obliged and did what Hiro told him to do. The child prodigy threw his blanket over his Aunt's body. He leaned in and whispered; "I'm sorry, Aunt Cass." and kissed her cheek.

 

He stared down on her peaceful sleeping face for a while before walked away from his bed and straight toward the divider. He stopped right in front of it, frozen on the spot, like he had done so many days before. Once he had shut the divider, he never opened it again, because what lied behind the divider was the truth and Hiro had never had the gut to open the door and walked in the truth and drunk in the reality.

 

Hiro remembered again the day that marked the one hundred days since Tadashi's death. As Aunt Cass had suggested, they had went to his grave. Hiro remembered being dizzy, remembered his trembled hands when he had lit up the incense for Tadashi, remembered the longing smile on Aunt Cass' face, remembered the scream that had been chocked in his throat when he had seen the name on the tombstone, remembered the anger he felt boiling in his stomach... _Look at you now, nerd, look at what you had done to Aunt Cass. Do you know that you had taken her smile away?_

 

He swallowed hard. He must be had gone crazy, or maybe it was the fever that made him act funny because he lifted his hand and touched the divider. He never managed to do it before because he always chickened out and turned on his heels, ran back toward the lies. His body felt light, like he was seven and sat on Tadashi's shoulder with both hands stretched out while Tadashi ran down the hill, like he was flying, like gravity finally forgave him. The sensation was very different from before, he had always felt heavy and couldn't even lift a finger, like his feet was glued on the ground, like gravity decided to hate him, like the whole world was against him because Tadashi Hamada wasn't with him anymore.

 

He inhaled deeply, stored the oxygen in his lungs, then exhaled shakily. The divider stood tall before him, waiting for him to make his decision, and for a second, Hiro thought it was mocking him, internally laughing at his hestitation, wondering if he could do it this time. Hiro surprised it when he finally pushed himself to open it. Slowly, inch by inch, the door to the bitter truth opened.

 

When it was finally opened like it was used to be, Hiro swept his gaze, from the wall across the bed to the window by the head of the bed. The founder of superhero group stood numbly there, took in the view of the truth consisted of bookcases full of books, some goods under the bed, the posters and post-its on the wall, the neatly made bed, and dusty window.

 

The room was empty and his heart sunk a little. Of course, it was, what did he expect? He wanted to laugh at himself. Hiro always fantasized about this, about opening the divider and finding his brother there, stood before him in his old t-shirt and pyjama pants and smile down at him like he used to do. He knew it was impossible, but he can't help but hope and pretend that Tadashi was there, waiting for him to open the divider. And all those lies were the only one that kept him sane.

 

He sighed slowly and commanded his feet to move and the obliged. The room felt so cold, made Hiro hugged himself. As he walked toward the door, he remembered Tadashi had said it was unfair because Hiro's room was more spacious but now the younger Hamada thought Tadashi was a liar because his room felt so spacious it was ridiculous. He immediately let himself fall to the bed once his feet touched its frame. He rubbed his face on the sheets, inhaled deeply, took in the remaining of Tadashi's scent into his very core.

 

When he heard the squeaky steps of Baymax', he pulled himself higher on the bed so his feet wouldn't dangling on the edge. Hiro curled into a ball and the pat from the giant-marshmallow his brother called healthcare companion made him relieved. He was nine again, was eight again, was seven again, back to those days when he would sneaked onto Tadashi's bed after a nightmare or on a stormy night and stole his blanket then cocooned himself in it, Tadashi wouldn't protest because he was an awesome brother and would silently spooned Hiro into his loving embrace. Hiro closed his eyes and pretend the hand on his head was belonged to his deceased brother.

 

"I want to hear his voice." He whispered to Baymax.

 

"Which recording would you like to hear?"

 

"Whichever is fine!" He hissed impatiently then his voice softened, "I need to hear his voice... Please..."

 

The robotic nurse went silent even though he still pat his head. When Hiro thought the bot wouldn't comply, Tadashi's voice filled the silence gracefully;

 

"Hey, knucklehead! How's your day?"

 

A pause, "Tadashi..."

 

There was a sound of a nostalgic chuckle, "Sounds like you have fun there."

 

Hiro let out a dry laugh, "Huh, yeah, has a fever really is a blast."

 

"Well, roller-blades are fun, but remember to use helmet, elbow pads and knee pads, okay?"

 

"I dreamed, Tadashi, and in my dream you said you can't bring me with you." Hiro swallowed, and his voice broke, "Why?"

 

"It's late, don't you have morning class tomorrow?"

 

"And today, I walk in your room, can you imagine that?"

 

"So what do you want to do?"

 

"I had closed the divider shut, Tadashi, and always pretend that you're here."

 

"Hiro..."

 

"I have been living in lies since your death, bro, but to see the truth--that you're not here, it--" He chocked.

 

"Hiro..."

 

"Callaghan said he was sorry, he said he regret it. But it's not fair. I--he took everything from me, he _took_ you away from me, and all he could say was 'sorry'?"

 

"God, Hiro, do you like my voice so much?"

 

He bite his lower lip, this was ridiculous, absurd. "Yes..." Hiro breathed out, "So much, Tadashi, so much. And I think--I think if I could hear your voice every day, I could pretend that you're still here, and I think if I hope long enough, it would come true."

 

"It's time to sleep, now, kid."

 

"Don't go, Tadashi... Please... I beg you." Hiro wanted to open his eyes, hoping to see his brother. But Baymax put his free hand over the young genius' eyes and Hiro was thankful for that. He didn't know if his stomach was strong enough to take the terribly bitter truth.

 

"Good night, Hiro."

 

~Echo~

 

This was another dream.

 

Hiro was back on that day again.

 

The day when he got what he had wished for and the day where he lost the one he loved the most.

 

He was grabbing Tadashi's hand again, was breathing heavily with his heart hammered against his ribcage. He locked his eyes onto his brother's again, "Tadashi, don't!"

 

He wanted to say more than that, he wanted to scream at him, he wanted to roar at him that _Callaghan would survive! He had the microbots, he set this up! You'll die Tadashi, you'll die and there's nothing left of you, not even the body!_ But he can't say a thing, the screams and pleas were chocked in his throat, they formed a lump and blocked the oxygen's way out.

Tadashi frowned down at him, he looked torn. The older Hamada snapped his head toward the burning building and Hiro panicked. He shook his head erratically but his brother couldn't see it and he was desperate.

 

_Don't look away! Look at me! Always look at me, Tadashi! Don't go away, stay here! Here!_

The older Hamada looked down on him again. "Callaghan is in--"

 

"NO!" Hiro roared helplessly.

 

Then suddenly, Tadashi's hand wasn't in his again. Suddeny, he was in front of him, standing solemnly in the middle of blazing inferno. "I can't bring you with me, Hiro."

 

The scenery changed, he was back in the other side of the portal. He was on Abigail's capsule, staring on Baymax who blinked at him innocently. His red armor was broken and the pieces were floating everywhere.

 

"Are you satisfied with your care?" The robot asked.

 

The helplessness rushed back onto him again. Life was so cruel, so unfair. He cursed the decision he had made every single day, and even though he had rebuilt the nurse-bot again, had bring Baymax into life again, he still felt guilty. Even to this very day, the younger Hamada still apologized to the huggable robot.

 

Hiro wanted to scream and protest; _"I AM NOT SATISFIED WITH MY CARE!"_ but he couldn't. His mind screamed and struggled to break free but his body refused to listen. Against his will, he gave the robot one last hug and stared to his eyes again before finally accepted his defeat with shaky voice,

 

"I am satisfied with my care."

 

"Why did you let go?"

 

Hiro's eyes widened. It was no Baymax, it was Tadashi, right in front of his face. Tadashi was there, with a lot of burning marks adorned his face and body. The older Hamada expression was dark, empty, he stared at his little brother accusingly.

 

"You let go of me. You didn't do it once, but twice!"

 

"No!" Hiro snapped, "I--"

 

"Yes you do! If you held me tighter, I wouldn't have died."

 

Hiro drowned again, deeper and deeper, right into darkness. He was suffocated, and water filled his lungs.

 

"Not just it," Tadashi continued, "You left me here. Alone. You chose Abigail over me."

 

The messy haired teen tried to reach his brother. He wanted to apologize, to tell him he was sorry, to tell him he didn't mean it, to tell him if anything, he wanted to go after him. Hiro's body felt so heavy, the water around him restrained his movement, and he struggled to touch Tadashi. But when his fingertips managed to reach Tadashi's cheeks, the older Hamada slowly turned into dust. Bit by bit, starting from his left side, he was eroded like a rock eroded by water.

 

Before he turned into dust completely, Tadashi said in a low, dark voice;

 

"You killed me."

 

~Echo~

 

_"I can't bring you with me, Hiro."_

~Echo~

 

Hiro jolted awake with a loud gasp.

 

His body shook so great Tadashi's bed creaked. It took him five seconds to realize he couldn't breathe, and it made him recognize that he couldn't scream either. His mouth was wide open, formed a silent scream he couldn't let out. His chocolate eyes darted here and there before he finally caught Aunt Cass hovering over him with a worried expression.

 

He didn't notice he had been clawing at his throat before Aunt Cass pinned his hand on either side of his head. She opened and closed her mouth, trying to get his attention. Perhaps, she was calling for his name, asking him what happened. However, Hiro couldn't hear nor answer her. All he heard was the sound of his own heartbeat and all he could feel was the pain in his stomach.

 

Aunt Cass screamed to Baymax, probably asking him what happened to her nephew and it seemed like the huggable robot explained to her that Hiro was having a panic attack. The trembling teen finally had the energy to break free from his aunt's grasp and rolled away only to fell on the floor and continued on shaking and clawing at his throat. His stomach was in pain, ao great it made him felt nauseous and he thought his insides was twisted.

 

He wanted to throw up, but there was nothing in his stomach for he didn't eat a thing since morning. So in the end, a sour, disgusting liquid was flowing through his mouth. He thought it was yellow, or maybe green, but he didn't care because his head throbbed, his stomach ached, and there was an extremely bitter taste on his tongue.

 

Aunt cass gathered him into her arm with a surprising strength, but perhaps it was reasonable for Hiro had lost so much weight nowadays. And that fact made the café owner shocked too.

 

"Hiro! Hiro! Can you hear me?" She screamed on his face and patted his cheek carefully. "Honey, are you okay? Can you—calm down, okay? It's okay... It's okay... I got you, Hiro..."

 

No air. Hiro gasped, desperately trying to supply his lungs with oxygen. "Ta—dashi..." He muttered weakly. "—da—Tada—shi..."

 

"Shh... It's okay...It just a nightmare..." She was rubbing his back now, trying to calm him down.

 

Hiro shook his head erratically, he used all his energy to fist Aunt Cass' black t-shirt. "I killed him, Aunt Cass!" He yelled hysterically.

 

The brunette lady was taken aback."What—?"

 

"I killed him!" He repeated, "It—guh—It was my fault! I—I let g—go of his hand! I let him die! I should have--I should have held him tighter, should have gone after him—"

 

"What are you saying? Stop it!"

 

"But I didn't!" He shrieked, "I let him go! I didn't do anything! I just standing there! And—" He had a fit of cough and heaved for a while before finally, he was just able to whisper; "I left him alone... Aunt Cass, it was me who kill him."

 

"It's not your fault! It was an accident!" She was screaming now, matching her nephew's voice.

 

"It was my fault! I let him die! He--he hates me! He hates me! Oh, sweet lord, he hates me!"

 

"Hiro, calm down!"

 

"I KILLED HIM!"

 

"Hiro..."

 

Tadashi's voice silenced them both. They locked onto each other gaze with their mouths hanging open in mid scream for three seconds before turned their attention to the source of voice. The source was from Baymax who suddenly was sitting beside an aunt and a nephew who was holding to each other like lifeline.

 

Hiro's trembling body slowly stilled, while, on the contrary, Aunt Cass' hand began to shake lightly and she looked like the caring robot had slapped her. "Wh—what the....?"

 

Baymax put his soft hand over Hiro's eyes and then whispered softly in Tadashi's voice; "Shh... It's okay, Hiro. I'm here... I'm here..."

 

In Aunt Cass' hands, Hiro started to relax, like he was melting into her hands.

 

Then, the voice sang a lullaby for Hiro, a lullaby the brunette lady remembered by heart. It was a lullaby her sister had often sung to her whe she couldn't sleep, back in her toddler age when she still believed that Boogeyman was hiding under her bed.

 

"Long ago, when our eyes used to shine

 

And I was yours and you were mine

 

Once I told you why the sun sets red,

 

I know that I'll never forget.

 

Now you're gone and the sun still sets in the sky

 

At dusk, I will always think of you"

 

The lullaby was a love song, actually. It told a story about two lovers who spend a brief time together and then they had to separate because the girl ran away to find the truth about herself but the price of the truth was her soul. In the end, the two never confessed to each other and one day, they reached one another in a dream.

 

"Do you think we could ever turn back time someday

 

You and me will we ever be the same?

 

Once upon a time in my dream

 

I reached for you and you reached for me

 

Waking up is the hardest thing to do

 

Because in my dream I have you."

 

Cass had asked her sister what happened to the boy and she thought the story was so sad because the boy, who was trying to take her back, finally faded too. She had told her sister once that it was too tragic to be a lullaby, but she told her that the song was sweet because the two lovers always thought about each other even though they never meet one another anymore.

 

"Since you're gone and the sun still sets in the sky

 

At dusk, I will always think of you."

 

As the lullaby end, Hiro was back into a peacefull sleep. And Cass wondered if Tadashi would reach for Hiro and if Hiro would have the will to wake up. But, that aside, she looked up to Baymax, to the amazing robot her nephews had created behind her back. Her expression was troubled, disgusted, torn between angry and sad.

 

Baymax blinked, "You are angry." he informed as he lifted Hiro from her and walked to the sleeping boy's bed to lay him there and cover him in blanket.

 

Cass followed. "I don't even know if I am angry or—" She pinched the bridge of her nose and sucked air through gritted teeth. "What's going on?" She threw her hands up in frustration.

 

Baymax stared at her and she stared back. For the umpteenth time in her life, Cass felt she had failed as a parent. And now, the feeling was multiplied, became a burden she had to carry on her shoulders. For the first time since Tadashi's death, she realized she didn't know a thing about Hiro.

 

~Echo~

 

%MCEPASTEBIN%


	2. Time Capsule

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I finally post today. This is the final chapter. Thank you so much for reading this cliche story!
> 
> I have mixed feelings about Callaghan, okay? That dude needs some justice. 
> 
> Please excuse my English because I'm a failure of English Lit major. 
> 
> I can't write kissing scene.
> 
> Oh hey! When I re-read this, I just realized this is somehow a prequel for Flight (I remember mentioned about the purple chip somewhere in that fic if I'm not mistaken) should I write a continuation? LOL XD
> 
> HAPPY READING!
> 
> I own nothing, okay? SOBS

When Hiro woke up, it was already ten in the morning. He sat up then yawned, cringed disapprovingly at the disgusting taste that irritated his taste buds. If Hiro would stubbornly refuse his big brother's pleas to brush his teeth before, now he wanted nothing more than brush his teeth and wash his mouth with Litserine or something like that and then shovel various sweets into his mouth. He knew it might be futile for his stomach was acting up every thirty minutes after he ate yet Hiro needed something to spoil his tongue.

 

Hiro heard the sound of Baymax's footsteps while he was throwing the blanket off his body to the side. When the robot arrived at the room with a glass of water, he blinked to the young genius. "You are awake."

 

Hiro rolled his eyes and pushed down the urge to throw a snarky remark at the innocent nurse-bot. "Is that for me or you have developed the ability to drink water?"

 

Blink, blink. "I do not need drink." He said as he walked closer then gave the glass to Hiro.

 

The teen gulped it down at once like a dehydrated bohemian. As he did so, his eyes wandered to the calendar and then absentmindedly realized that today was his birthday. _Happy fucking birthday, emo nerd._ He thought dryly.

 

"Your temperature is normal." Baymax informed as Hiro stood up and placed the glass on his messy desk. "Your health is in good condition, but I suggest to rest and stay at home."

 

"Sounds like a plan. Stay at home, do nothing, sleep all day. Yippee..." He faked a cheer. It was not like he wanted to do anything, anyway, but the way Baymax informed it made him sarcastic. Hiro sat on his swivel chair and turned on his PC, trying to read some news about bot-fight in the city to kill his unproductive time.

 

"Aunt Cass is waiting for you downstairs."

 

Hiro's hand stilled, frozen on spot.

 

The memory of last night's episode rushed back to him; the dream, the one-sided conversation, the silent scream, the sweet scent of Aunt Cass' perfume, the hysteria, the paranoia, the helplessness, the fear, and the horrible vomit. Hiro swallowed hard, trying to stop the shake on his hand. Aunt Cass was waiting for him, she definitely wanted to talk about it. Then, he remembered the lullaby Baymax had sung to him in order to calm him down and cursed under his breath.

 

 _She knew..._ He felt his stomach flipped uncomfortably. _She finally knew._

 

His brother always said he didn't believe in dead ends and always insisted on looking for new angle, but maybe, Hiro knew more than Tadashi that there was many dead ends with no turning backs, no way outs, no new angles. If anything, he knew more than Tadashi the feeling of facing dead ends with no turning backs. He knew more than Tadashi because he was the one who made him experienced it. Aunt Cass' talk was a dead end with no way out, Hiro knew it. He just knew.

 

The birthday boy shut his PC down again. He stood up, turned around and bore his gaze onto Baymax's innocent eyes, searching for something he didn't really sure. He took a deep, shaky breath, held it for three seconds and then released it, trying in vain to pressed down the butterfly which seemed to throw a birthday party for him in his stomach.

 

"Okay." He said at last.

 

~Echo~

 

Hiro did descend the stairs leading to the family room and was greeted by a loud sound of a cracker, courtesy of Aunt Cass. He was startled, jumped a little bit and stared dumbfounded at his suspiciously too cheerful aunt. She squealed; "Happy birthday my little man!", hugged him, showered him with kisses and cooed at him; "Look at you! You're one step away from being a real man!" even though it really was hundreds steps away, then pushed him to the dining room where chocolate cake was proudly sat on it with fifteen candles lit up. Next, Aunt Cass and Baymax sung a happy birthday song for him, told him to make a wish and blow the candles.

 

"What did you wish for, sweetheart?" Aunt Cass asked after all candles were blown.

 

Hiro threw a lopsided smile and shrugged as an answer because, to be honest, he didn't wish for anything. The café owner shrugged too as an answer, she let it be as it is. Maybe, she thought Hiro wanted to keep it as a secret, and he really wished she thought like that.

 

This was their usual birthday ritual, and today, Hiro should change his name into Moron McDoofus if he didn't notice, the cheerful atmosphere was a lie. He knew because even though her lips formed a broad smile and the pink blush of proud was present, her eyes weren't smiling and she looked tense. For the first time since Tadashi's demise, Hiro finally could see that his aunt was lying too, only the difference between them was; the nephew lied to himself and pretended that Tadashi was still alive while the aunt lied to herself that even though Tadashi was not here, everything was alright when in fact nothing was okay.

 

After waiting until the simple birthday party was done, Aunt Cass finally dropped the act. Her smile was still glued on her face, yet it got smaller. She put her plate away, and laced her fingers on top of the table then bore her gaze to Hiro before she started; "We need to talk."

 

Hiro licked his lips, the butterflies in his stomach went frenzy. He didn't want to keep eye contact, but she silently demanded him to not look away. He fidgeted uncomfortably on his chair, worrying his lower lip, pushing down the urge to runaway. He didn't want to have this conversation, yet he nodded to her, telling her to go on.

 

She kept quiet for while, lips was on thin, straight line and eyes dangerously cold. Without breaking eye contact, she pulled one hand down, grab something from her jeans pocket, then place it on the table.

 

When Hiro saw the purple chip, he froze and all of his walls shattered to the ground.

 

"I've heard everything from Baymax." She informed. Hiro fixed his eyes on the chip. "After thinking about it for a while, I decide that you—we need help."

 

A pause. Hiro counted to twenty, and Aunt Cass finally continued. "I know a good psychiatrist, she's my friend. I've known her since I was fifteen and I know she is good. I think, we need to see a psychiatrist because the two of us is destroying ourselves from inside."

 

The messy haired teen couldn't say a thing, nor can he look up to his aunt. His hand trembled so he had to keep them under the table, preventing Aunt Cass from seeing his nervousness. It was no use, he knew his eyes betrayed him, but it won't hurt to try and Hiro really needed something to distract him.

 

Aunt Cass took a deep breath, it was a sign that her decision was final, he had no say in it. She lifted up the purple chip, and Hiro's eyes followed it. "I can't let you do this again." She said, " _This_ will not happen again." with that, she broke the chip into two with surprising strength, breaking Hiro's heart at the same time. "And, I know we've talked about this but, I want to sell Tadashi's things and I want you to pick the things and clear his room."

 

Hiro was at loss. His heart numbed, his blood turned cold, his body was so limp, and his soul seemed to leave his body. "Don't..." He said, so quiet it almost a whisper, "Don't take him away from me, Aunt Cass."

 

For a moment, Hiro had thought he had win, had thought Aunt Cass would release him because her eyes had widened and her expression was a mixture of pity and sadness, however, he was so wrong. The hesitation only last for two seconds and she stilled again, determination was scripted on her facial expression. "I'm not, Hiro." She said, voice dropped low, "But I only have you now and I don't want anything happen to you. I want you to get better, and I have to get better too in order of that. If it meant I have to take Tadashi away from you to keep you safe, I'll do it."

 

Hiro wanted to scream, wanted to yell at her, wanted to throw a tantrum like he always did when he was four because Tadashi had to go to school. He couldn't do any of it, though, for he had no energy left anymore and all he wanted to do was lie on his big bro's bed and take a deep breath of the reminiscent of his scent.

 

"Stay with me, Hiro." Aunt Cass said, and even though her expression was so stoic, Hiro knew she was pleading. "Stay with me."

 

_Don't leave me._

~Echo~

 

_"I can't bring you with me, Hiro."_

~Echo~

 

The messy haired teen took three sessions a week. The sessions with the psychiatrist were unexpectedly comfortable. The psychiatrist, Alice, didn't push him to tell her everything, she just asked about what he felt and concerned about his health. She said to him that past did

have the power to control somebody, but as human we had to learn to recognize the power and control it. Her main purpose was to help Hiro controlling and managing his own feelings.

 

She acted as a friend to Hiro, much to his relief. Alice knew the teen couldn't tell his story yet, so she told him many stories about her friendship with Aunt Cass and those stories was so comical he couldn't help but laughing along with her. He never knew his aunt was a bona fidé con artist of her time and always got them in trouble. Her stories wormed into his heart until on the sixth session he began to tell his stories about him and Tadashi; about how Tadashi always took care of him, about how Tadashi was so disappointed when Hiro told him he won't apply to university, about how Tadashi was so stressed when he found out about the bot-fighting, about how Tadashi would pull numerous amazing stunts to save him from thugs.

 

Oddly enough, he never thought to talk about his brother would be so pleasant. Whenever he or somebody talked about Tadashi, he would always have this funny feeling on his stomach and would end up empty his stomach afterward. With Alice, however, he felt so comfortable to talk about him. It felt like a really good talk, something you would laugh about over tea break. Somehow, going to her office was something he looked forward because he could talk about Tadashi without any side effect.

 

On the fifth week, on the fourteenth session, Hiro confessed about Aunt Cass’ command for him to clear Tadashi's room up.

 

"That's really interesting. I never thought she would be so clever. It was very thoughtful of her." Alice commented as she scribbled something on a piece of paper.

 

"Really? I don't think so." Hiro sulkily said as he hugged a fluffy pillow tighter.

 

"And why don't you think so?"

 

The teen had to look away to think. Alice' eyes felt so hypnotic; like she could force him to talk about something or like she could see through him. "It's just-- I mean-- It's not even a year, you know?"

 

"Nope, I don't know." She sung.

 

"It feels like she wants to take him away from me!" he exclaimed. The blonde psychiatrist raised one eyebrow skeptically. "It's true! She has told me herself; she said if to keep me safe it means to take him away from me, she'll do it!"

 

The friendly psychiatrist's eyes widened and she gasped, "She didn't!"

 

"Oh yes, she did!" Hiro raised his voice enthusiastically as he leaned closer. "Wait, why it feels like we are gossiping?"

 

Alice waved it off, "Well, yeah, it was mean, but let's see it from different angle, like your brother's always said."

 

Hiro paused for a second, he still did that every time his brother was mentioned but Alice had said it was normal and Hiro was improving, by the way, so it was cool. "Yeah? How?"

 

"Hmm... Well, let's talk about his shirts for a start. I see that your brother is tall and a bit muscular, are you sure that his shirts will fit for you once you reach his age?"

 

Hiro made a face. No matter how much he hated the talk about his height, he knew he wouldn't be that tall and he would be gangly for the rest of his life.

 

"See?" She scribbled down again, "Aand~ if you let his things piled up there and never touch it, don't you think dust will cover them up? It would be so unhealthy! Not to mention there might be mice or... cockroach, perhaps?"

 

Hiro cringed in disgust. Cockroach was a no-no for him. "Well, yeah..."

 

"You don't have to sell all of them. You can pick which thing you won't need and which thing you can keep."

 

The young, barely fifteen genius pouted and reluctantly admitted with a nod. "I can do that... I guess?"

 

"Of course you can do it!" She cheerfully clapped her hands together once. "Take it slow, bit by bit, like baby steps, you know? Okay? Okay." Alice glanced to the clock briefly before flicked back to her patient, giving him her usual broad smile. "Five minutes left, let's get into Q and A! Let's see... Can you sleep without hearing his voice now?"

 

Hiro scratched the back of his neck nervously, "Mostly yeah, but... Some nights..." he trailed off.

 

Alice hummed, "What's the cause?"

 

"I—just... I miss him, so much." Hiro closed his eyes and Tadashi was there, smiling up to him, just for him.

 

"What about the dreams?"

 

"I never dream about the accident again, but—uhh... sometimes, the dreams about him jolt me awake and I will have panic attack again."

 

"Is this happen so many times?"

 

"No... Just twice a week, I guess?"

 

"Good! Is your stomach still acting up when you talk about him?"

 

"I don't know... I mean, I never talk about him with anyone besides you, so I don't really know."

 

"The panic attack makes you vomit?"

 

"No. Just shaking mildly and hard to breathe, it's not like a month ago, though."

 

"Superb!" She cheered. Hiro opened his eyes and wondered how his panic attack was so superb. "You're making a really good process. The panic attack and sleepless night will pass in no time, believe me." She winked, then rested her chin on the back of her hands. "Now, Hiro, like I said before, your aunt's idea is really good and I want you to do it and give me reports daily, you have my email, right? Theen... What else? Oh, yeah! Try to talk about Tadashi with someone else. Start from family and really close friends, then to people outside that circle. That's all. Let's call it a day."

 

Hiro gave her a lopsided smile. "Thanks, Alice." he stood up once Alice gave him two thumbs up, then headed to the door. The moment his fingertips touched the door knob, the psychiatrist called him.

 

"Hiro?" Said teen stopped on his track and glanced over his shoulder, finding Alice stared onto him with unusual serious expression, "Past does have power and you have to control it. Furthermore, past is something to be remembered, not something you live in." a pause, then a smile formed again on her face. "Think about it." with that, she waved a good bye.

 

He stared at her blankly for a while, and he suddenly remembered the words Tadashi always said to him in his so many dreams;

 

_"I can bring you with me, Hiro."_

The short teen licked his lips, turned on his heels to face her completely. "Aunt Cass told me to stay with her." he stopped for a while, waiting for a change in her expression. Her smile didn't change, though, so he continued; "Tadashi—in my dreams, he said—he said he can't bring me with him."

 

"Really?" She raised one eyebrow smugly, "Interesting, indeed. Those two really love you. I can feel it." Alice shook her head, "This is not my place to tell you, you have to figure it out yourself."

 

Hiro ducked his head, lifted it up only to smile briefly at her, then he was gone.

 

~Echo~

 

Aunt Cass was so overjoyed when Hiro started cleaning up Tadashi's room. She almost burst into tears, actually. She hugged him so tight Hiro almost hyperventilating. Then, the middle-aged woman showered him with kisses, start from his forehead, down to his eyes, cheeks and nose, before finally on his chin. Next, she told him she was so proud of him for he wanted to try to be better. At last, with tears pooled about her eyes, she whispered shakily to him;

 

"Thank you, Hiro, thank you. And I'm sorry, so sorry, but I have to. I just really have to."

 

For an answer, the teen just smiled apologetically at her. Apologizing for what, he didn't really know, but he felt like he had to apologize.

 

The cleaning up was not an easy task for Hiro. When he was stuffing Tadashi's clothes into a box, he somehow locked himself up in his wardrobe and had Baymax not found him, he might have a major panic attack due to Tadashi’s scent. Another example was when he was collecting photographs which was haphazardly scattered around the room and put them into an album. Suddenly, Tadashis in the photographs glared hatefully to him, blamed him again like in the dream which had gave him the first panic attack. Hiro had a mild spazz attack, he had to scurried off and hid under his desk before called Alice. Her words finally calmed him down, but he didn't step into that room for two days.

 

He was improving pretty well too. Slow, but improving. The sleepless nights and nightmares almost disappeared completely. Even though it may be due the exhaustion of dealing with the cleaning up, it was still a good thing. The sessions with Alice changed to two sessions a week as her gift for him for getting better.

 

A month later, Tadashi's room was almost empty, save for his bed and bookcases full of books. Hiro left the books, he had read some of it to decide which one he had to throw away, but most of them were a really useful so he claimed them as his. Once, he almost laughed out so hysterically. He didn't understand what was so hilarious about the emptiness of Tadashi's room. It was just funny to see the once full of things area which he had witnessed for more than ten years gradually became empty.

 

This time, Hiro decided to check the things under Tadashi's bed. Down there, he found out that it was no different from his own; full of things and absolutely dirty. No wonder Aunt Cass had given up cleaning their room once the older Hamada hit fifteen. "Clean up your messy room, he said. Especially under your bed, he said. It looks so dirty even germs don't want to live there, he said." Hiro grumbled as he was on his stomach while trying to clean up the mess under his big brother's bed. T-shirts, boxers, pencils, notebooks, socks, numerous boxes, you name it, everything was under the bed. "And he said my room is dirty. Hypocrite nerd."

 

After an hour and hundreds of curses later, Hiro found out that everything under the bed was a pile of garbage so he throw them in a huge black plastic. The only thing that caught his interest was an ancient looking wooden box which was wrapped in a black cloth. He tried to open it only to know it needed a key. Hiro didn't find it on the cloth, so he searched about the bed; under the mattress, under the sheet, and under the pillow case. He even had messed out the garbage he had collected on that day and found nothing.

 

The fact that Tadashi had a secret box with no key ticked Hiro's curiosity. He wasn't that kind of person who let closed things remained closed so he stomped away to his room with the box and attempting to open it. Hiro Hamada, the world's most amazing genius couldn't open the lock of a mere ancient box? Ha! That was really a laugh and the short teen would make sure no one could even snort at his presence. With some tools, some little tricks here or there, and then voila! The box finally proclaimed its defeat.

 

In triumph, Hiro opened it. The box kept a stack of photographs, a binder, a paper airplane, and another smaller box. The first one he investigated was a stack of photographs. They were taken from Tadashi's phone, he noticed with a frown, and were paparazzi works of Tadashi. There was Hiro sleeping with mouth widely open, Hiro falling asleep on the ugly sofa in their garage-turned-out-lab, Aunt Cass with her beauty care smeared over her face, Aunt Cass grumpily studying the wrinkles on the edges of her eyes, some secret selfies, some embarassing selfies of Hiro and Tadashi which Hiro had threatened him to be erased, and many more.

 

The paper airplane, Hiro remembered with a fond and longing smile, was Tadashi's fourteenth birthday present from him. To know Tadashi had been keeping it ever since so dearly warmed his heart. The days of folding so many paper airplanes, throwing them away and letting them fly away, then chasing after them, rushed back to him. He remembered the green grass tickling his tiny bare feet, the bright blue sky, the heat of summer days, the burning sensation in his lungs, the sound of rushing wind on his ears, and the view of Tadashi's back. Hiro smiled, such good old days he wished he could return to. His smiled disappeared, though, when he remembered what Alice had said; past is not something you live in.

 

The teen turned his attention on the binder. Fortunately, it had no other lock. Upon that fact, he immediately opened it only to stop on his track when he saw the too familiar handwriting of Tadashi there. With a shocking realization, he found out it was a diary. A diary belonged to Tadashi. Hiro gulped once. Twice. Butterflies were dancing around in his stomach crazily.

 

Silently, he read the first page. Then the second. And then the third. And so on, so forth. Everything which was written there was Tadashi's worship for Hiro, his baby brother. About how beautiful Hiro was, how charming Hiro was, how perfect Hiro was. About how Hiro didn't need a sick brother, how he didn't need a good for nothing brother, how he didn't need a freak for a brother. Hiro felt anger boiling in his stomach, hot and ready to explode. All butterflies had been burned in the inferno of his rage when he saw Tadashi wrote that if anything, he would like to disappear from his brother's life. The diary content was ridiculous, nonsense, bullshit. There was no way Tadashi would write something like that. It was a lie, it had to be.

 

Angrily, he closed the binder and threw it back into the box. He huffed and picked up the last thing, the small white box. Inside the box was two envelopes and he instantly recalled the box as their time capsule. They had the idea when Hiro was six, when Tadashi was thirteen, when following Tadashi around was his hobby. The older Hamada suggested to write a letter addressed to himself and they would open it again fifteen years later.

 

With a smile, Hiro reached out for the envelope addressed to him.

 

_'Hello, this is your past talking to you. Hello, my twenty one years old self, how are you? Do you know what I want to be once I reach your age? I want to be Tadashi's partner on robot invention because Hiro+Tadashi=universe changing technology!'_

Hiro snorted a laugh. Yeah, he remembered now. It was his dream long before the bot-fight was his purpose. That was right, Tadashi was always in his future. There was Tadashi in his dream about future. Tadashi and Hiro, the inseparable exclusive duo. He never thought otherwise, and he didn't want to think otherwise.

 

The young genius glanced to Tadashi's letter, curious about what he had written to himself. He reached for it, opened it, and started to read it, ready to read something so awesome, so heroic, so honorable. Yet, the content of the letter was a cruel disappointment, a betrayal which made Hiro's blood boiled and his head throbbed.

 

Hiro's breath went heavy, eyes still locked on the paper, hoping beyond hope that it was an illusion. It was no illusion, the paper was there, real and solid on his hands. Something snapped in his head, maybe it was his sanity, maybe it was his common sense, or maybe it was something else. He didn't know, he didn't care.

 

Before he realized it, he had crumpled the paper, stood up and bolted out. Down to the living room, down to the café, then straight to the door which he opened with haste. He heard Aunt Cass yelled after him, heard Baymax called his name, he didn't care, he didn't want to care.

 

Once he broke free, he rushed through San Fransokyo's busy streets, through the curtains of human bodies. He ran and ran and ran, until his lungs were burned, until his calves were burned, until his body was on fire, until he could finally feel the sensation of blazing inferno Tadashi had experienced once.

 

~Echo~

 

 _"Stay with me, Hiro."_ Aunt Cass had said.

 

 _"I can't bring you with me, Hiro."_ Tadashi had said.

 

Those two kept ringing in his ear. He didn't care, he didn't want to care, he didn't want to hear. He had had enough with everyone telling him what to do.

 

He'd do whatever the hell he wanted, now.

 

~Echo~

 

_"Thank you for not giving up on me." Hiro said with a sincere smile._

_Tadashi smiled too. He looked so calm, but Hiro knew he was so proud of his baby brother, he could see it twinkling on his coffee-colored eyes._

_The younger Hamada's smile widened, chest swelling with pride. He looked back to the Ishioka Building, "I really look forward to go to school with you, you know?"_

_"Really?"_

_"Yeah! I can't wait for the new semester to come!" Hiro bounced on his feet, a trait he showed when he was really excited. "I bet— I bet we'll have fun! Lots of fun! And, and, um... Maybe the class will be boring for me but, I can overuse all the machines here! Isn't it—"_

_Hiro came to a halt and his heart skipped a beat. Suddenly, Tadashi was behind him with his hands circled around his waist and his head rested on the crook of Hiro's neck, breathed out a warm carbon dioxide against his neck._

_"Ta—"_

_"Sshh..." Tadashi hushed him, "I—just—just for a while, okay? Let me like hold you like this for a bit longer... Please."_

_Hiro was sure the blood in his body rushed up to his head, warmed his cheeks and painted his face cherry red. He opened and closed his mouth, hands flailed about for he wasn't sure what to do with them or where he should put them. Tadashi's palms were so warm on his stomach and his bangs and breath tickled his neck and shoulders. Out of the blue, Hiro became too aware of their height difference, Tadashi must have a long way down to rest his head on the crook of his neck._

_Tadashi inhaled deeply and chuckled darkly, "You— I really am a good for nothing brother, huh?"_

_"Wha—"_

_"I am sick, Hiro. I am a freak. I shouldn't— I—" He chuckled mirthlessly again, his deep voice vibrated against Hiro's neck. "I'm going to move out of Aunt Cass's house, Hiro."_

_Panic replaced his bewilderment and took over his body. Hiro broke free from his brother's embrace and faced him. "What?" He hissed, brow knitted together. "Why?"_

_Tadashi shook his head, "You won't understand."_

_"Then explain!"_

_"I can't. I just can't."_

_"No!" Hiro stomped his right foot. It might be childish, but the short teen had to make his point. "What's the matter? What did I do wrong?"_

 

_"You did nothing. **I** did."_

_The young genius shook his head exasperatedly. "I don't understand. What did you do?" Tadashi didn't give any answer, he just stared at him like he was so devastated, like he was pleading to his brother to stop. Hiro grew impatient, cheeks was no longer cherry red out of embarrassment, but of fury. He stomped his foot again, screaming on top of his lungs; "WHAT?"_

_It happened so quickly Hiro's mind couldn't catch up with it. What crossed his mind at first was Tadashi must be some kind of ninja in disguise of a nerd because in a blink of an eye his face was so close to him. Then, after ten seconds, it hit him that Tadashi was kissing him. Slow and deep, tenderly and oh so dearly. One hand was flat on his back, drew him flushed against the older Hamada's body while the other one was warm against his cheek, thumb rubbed just below his eyes slowly._

_Ten seconds later, Hiro melted into Tadashi's hold. Once widened eyes now closed and tensed shoulder turned relaxed, relaxing Tadashi's body in process. His big brother's lips felt so warm on his own and it felt so **good** , sending spark of pleasure down his spine. Maybe, it was a good thing that the baseball fan was holding him because Hiro was now cllinging on him as if it was a lifeline and his hands fisted Tadashi's shirt tightly._

_They stayed like that for what seemed like eternity. All sounds disappeared as if the whole world fell silent, as if the whole world appreciating their private moment, or perhaps the world was too awed to even make a sound. The feeling was so alien for Hiro, yet he didn't hate it. Strange but amazing at the same time._

_At last, Tadashi broke the contact first. He put a distance between them, just enough to separate their lips and close enough to feel each other breath. Hiro's eyes fluttered open, he could feel the sensation lingered on his lips, tingling them pleasantly. Tadashi smiled down apologetically at him, or maybe it was his imagination. His mind was too blank, too hazy, too high to judge._

_"I shouldn't do that." Tadashi said. Hiro deeply disagreed. "But, **wow** , that was amazing." He laughed breathily. The short teen wanted to voice his agreement yet his voice had left him, made him mute. With a really pained expression, he continued; "Don't you understand, Hiro? This is why I said I have to move out soon."_

_Hiro's heart fell to the ground. His eyes darted about at his brother's face aimlessly, pleading to him to don't go, to tell him what's going on._

_"I—you're so amazing, Hiro. So, so amazing beyond words. I don't know when this feeling start to grow and consume me completely. Before I realized it, I already fell too deep to get out. I tried, Hiro, I swear to god I tried." Tadashi's hand on his cheek slid down his neck, brushing his shoulder, down to his hand until it finally found his palm. Tadashi brought the much smaller palm to his own cheek, letting Hiro sensed how soft and warm it was._

_"I always tell myself to not look at you this way, but I can't help it. I know my eyes stare too long at you and my touches linger too long also. I'm scared, Hiro, terribly. As time passed by, I know I have to save you from myself." He kissed his baby brother's soft palm, "You did nothing wrong. It's not your fault. Not you. Never you. You're the best thing that ever happened to my life, nobody else, just you."_

_"If I have my way, Hiro, I'd rather be by your side, live a beautiful life with you forever." Now, he kissed the back of Hiro's hand, brushing his lips over the knuckles. "I swear to god, Hiro, I do not want to be away from you even for a second, but—" Tadashi let go of Hiro's hand, and it didn't fall to his side, the teen fisted it against his big brother's chest instead. "Today, I look at you and you're so beautiful, too beautiful and make me know for sure I can't hold this any longer, this is a pure torture for me."_

_Tadashi's eyes which was locked onto his was so intense, made him drowning in their depth. Hiro felt a warm palm back on his cheek again, gave him no way to look away. "Today, I finally decided to tell you everything. You don't have to return it, you even have the very right to hate me and wish me to die. But I have to tell you—"_

_A pause. A hestitation. Hiro held his breath, waiting until those beautiful eyes filled with determination again. "I have to tell you that I—"_

_A shrill cry broke whatever spell within them. Tadashi snapped his head toward the exhibition building, Hiro belatedly followed his suit. Something happened, and with a quick glance he knew his kind hearted brother was more than happy to help. Tadashi always had that chivalry code running in his blood. What he didn't know was that kindness would cause him trouble and took his brother away from him. The moment they arrived at the scene, the moment Tadashi knew someone was still there in the blazing building, Hiro knew him too well that he would run straight to the hell of a building to safe the person._

_"Callaghan was there, someone has to help." was his excuse when Hiro told him not to._

_"I'll go with you!"_

_"No! Stay here!" he pried the short teen's hands off of his, "I can't bring you with me, Hiro."_

_That was the last thing he got to say to him._

_Tadashi left him alone._

_The unfinished sentence lingered in his ears, echoing all the way into his very core._

~Echo~

 

Hiro arrived in front of Tadashi's grave in a jumbled mess. Cheeks and forehead were bright pink, hair was no better than a bird nest, t-shirt clung tightly to his body, soaked wet and dirty with dust. He was out of breath, panting and gasping heavily to refill his lungs with fresh air.

 

Upon seeing the name carved on the tombstone, he felt it again, the blazingly hot anger. At last, after his lungs were full with oxygen, he exploded like a volcano.

 

"What the fuck is wrong with you!?" He screamed on top of his lungs. "You—you fuckin' kissed me, then you escaped before even explained what the hell that kiss meant like a coward! You left me here all alone! You—" He coughed, throat burning painfully but that wouldn't stop Hiro from yelling to his brother's hard and cold tombstone.

 

"You wrote that you love me in your diary! You said you _love_ me, you idiot freakin' nerd! You said you love me then what the hell does this shit mean!?" He waved the crumpled sheet wildly like a lunatic. "Wha—what the hell—why did you do this!?" Hiro looked down on the sheet which Tadashi supposed to write down a letter to himself in the future, about his dream, about what he wanted to be. "Why—why is this EMPTY? Why didn't you write something!?"

 

Hiro dropped on his knees and punched the earth of the grave. "Why there is no you in your future!? Why there is no me in your future!? WHY!" Fat tears rolled down his dust-stained cheeks. He clawed at the soil, "Come out! Come out and explain to me! Don't hide under the earth!" He clawed, and clawed, and clawed, like a dog trying to dig a hole to find its hidden bones. Perhaps, it was what he was trying to do at the moment; dug up the grave, found the body, tried to revive him again. He had dreamed about it so many times; about him clawing at the grave like a lunatic to take the body away and resuscitate him only to find that there was no body buried under the earth. He would then awaken with a jolt, scream which was chocked on his throat, inability to breathe, shaking body, and ended with running all the way to the bathroom and emptied his upset stomach.

 

"COME OUT!" He yelled, "Come—" and then, he was broken. Body shaking, limbs lost their energy, fat tears fell from his dark eyes like waterfalls. "I don't understand... I— you were right, I won't understand, and I still don't. But—" His hands slowed down, soil stained his nails. "But if it means that you'll be here, then I do, I do, I do... I love you, I love you, I love you." He chanted the three words over, and over. Like a mantra. Hoping it would magically brought tadashi back into life.

 

For the first time since Tadashi's demise, Hiro finally grieved. Hands stopped completely, and now he was curled up on top of the grave. He curled and cried and sobbed, and whined, and hiccupped. He cried like he was five, like he was seven, like he was ten, like when nightmares was his worst enemy, like when there was Tadashi who would sneaked into his bed and spooned him in his hands, calmed him down with his mere presence.

 

"I love you, I love you, I love you..." He chanted the three words he didn't really understand over and over in between his sobs.

 

There was no use.

 

It was just empty three words.

 

Still, he chanted them.

 

Just like the day he called his brother over and over, hoping beyond hollow hope that said young man would come out of the fire and hugged him like he always did.

 

Now, he hoped said big brother would somehow broke free from the empty casket, through the wall of earth and at last, hugged him tightly then brought him down into the deepest part of his grave.

 

~Echo~

 

He was no longer crying by the time Baymax arrived. He didn't know how long he had curled on his brother's grave and blankly stared to nowhere in particular. His dirt stained cheeks was adorned with double tears stains also, fingertips blackened, clothes stained with dirt here and there.

 

"Aunt Cass is waiting for you." Baymax said robotically.

 

Hiro didn't aswer. He let the robot gathered him into his soft bulky hands and picked him up. Somehow, the robot managed to give him a piggyback then walked away from the grave. Hiro almost laughed hysterically at the similarities between the robot and its inventor. Tadashi used to do that when he was arrived at home then found Hiro had fallen asleep in the garage-turned-lab. He never told him that whenever the big brother was finally home and gave him a piggyback to the bedroom, he was awake all the time.

 

"Aunt Cass is worried about you. She appears to be experiencing stress and mental tiredness for several months now." The giant-marshmallow-looking robot helpfully informed.

 

Hiro closed his eyes and saw Aunt Cass behind his eyelids. Guilt consumed his heart again. He was unfair to her all this time. He refused to acknowledge her sorrow, pretended to don't know her grief, blind to all of her blood streaked eyes on Sunday mornings, deaf to all of her cries late at night.

 

He knew everything, in fact. He knew she had silently cried the night she lost her nephew, when she thought Hiro was soundly asleep. He knew she had bitten her lower lips so strongly it almost bled during the funeral. He knew she cried against Tadashi's shirt when she washed his last dirty clothes. He knew she spent her free times stood at Tadashi's room as she said to herself that everything would be alright. He knew it was just as hard to her as it was to him to clean up the room.

 

Then, Hiro remembered the others too. Remembered how Honey cried in front of the empty casket. Remembered how GoGo stubbornly fought back the tears. Remembered how Fred eyes became dull and his expression turned like a lost puppy. Remembered how Wasabi's voice cracked and wavering when he gave speech.

 

He knew he wasn't the only one who grieved.

 

Hiro remembered Proffesor Callaghan too.

 

"Baymax?" Hiro called the nurse bot. He croaked, actually. His voice was too abused and he might lose his voice due tomorrow. The black haired had no doubt about it because he had experienced it once, the day after he screamed his big brother's name on top of his lungs in vain. "I want to go to the prison."

 

"May I ask why?"

 

Hiro opened his eyes, watched the way the red clouds floating around idly.

 

"I have to pay a visit to Callaghan."

 

~Echo~

 

When the door opened, Hiro immediately looked up and stared straight to the old man by the door. Callaghan's eyes were as wide as a golf ball upon seeing his dirt stained face. He looked like he was seeing a ghost, or maybe a grim reaper with black wings and a death scythe.

 

The officer finally lost his patience at the thunderstruck prisoner and gave the old guy a shove before he closed and locked the door.

 

Hiro just stared, waiting.

 

Callaghan looked confused, bewilderedly darted his eyes here and there as if he didn't know where he should locked his eyes at. At last, he settled to sit at the chair across Hiro for a start. His eyes locked on to the table and mouth moved in a perfect imitation of hyperventilated fish.

 

"I forgive you." Hiro said. Callaghan slowly raised his head, overwhelmed. He, too, was actually baffled with his own decision. Of all people, why did he choose Callaghan as the first person he talked about Tadashi to?

 

"I forgive you." He repeated slowly, "Because—because— I hated you once, maybe I still do, but I—I just realized that every second I spent to hate you, the hatred was actually directed at myself." He gave a pause to swallow once. His throat was killing him. "I just— I just need someone else to blame while in fact I blamed myself. I’m just a coward who doesn't have the gut to hate and blame myself. That day, I should have been more stubborn and never let him go. It was my fault, I told myself that and yet I put all the blame on you only."

 

Callaghan opened his mouth, however Hiro raised his hand, silenced him at once. "It's not my fault, I know, I know. Everybody keeps telling me that. I just—" he sucked a breath through gritted teeth. "This is why I said I forgive you. Nothing would change, you know? Whatever I do, how hard I cry and scream, doesn't matter how hard I blame you or myself, nothing would change. Tadashi had been ashes, and ashes he would remain."

 

He closed his eyes, inhaled and exhaled slowly. "I was unfair. You must be miss him as much as I do because—"

 

He opened his eyes, greeted by the sight of Callaghan with waterfalls from his eyes. He looked ten years older, his wrinkles were deeper than the last time he saw him, and he looked downright tired. "Because you had thought of him as your own son."

 

Hiro was selfish. If anything, he was the worst villain. He blamed the man who had killed his own son just to revenge for his own daughter.

 

He got his daughter, but he lost his son with his own hands. It was easier to blame others than to blame ourselves and Callaghan had been blamed himself since he lost Tadashi on the fire.

 

Callaghan covered both eyes with both hands. Shoulders were shaking as a result of his sobs.

 

"I forgive you. So please, forgive yourself. Stay healthy, get out from this place as soon as possible and apologize to Tadashi yourself."

 

~Echo~

 

_"I can't bring you with me, Hiro."_

_"Stay with me, Hiro."_

_Don't leave._

_I won't, I won't. I'll stay here. For you, for Aunt Cass, for myself._

~Echo~

 

A month had passed.

 

Everything had gone way better.

 

Aunt Cass said so.

 

Alice said so.

 

Baymax said so.

 

Even Mochi mewled so.

 

His room was more spacious now. Tadashi's bed had sold and what was left was some bookcases full of challenging books. Tadashi's side of room was now became Hiro make-shift lab, much to Aunt Cass dismay. It was used for simple and small inventions while the garage-lab was still used for way bigger projects.

 

"Hiro, honey!" Aunt Cass yelled from downstairs. Hiro turned off his machine and got rid of his googles.

 

"Yeah!?" He screamed back.

 

"Time for lunch!"

 

"Okay, ten minutes!"

 

The teen took off his dirty gloves, threw them away carelessly. He sniffed at his sweat-soaked t-shirt and wrinkled his nose in disgust. He really needed to change it or Aunt Cass would never let him anywhere near the dining table. The messy haired teen walked over his side of the room and chose all t-shirts he possessed on the floor.

 

He donned a probably-clear-and-god-knows-since-when-it-has-been-there green t-shirts and then threw away the dirty one somewhere near the divider. He sat on his swivel chair and was about to turn on his computer when his eyes caught a glimpse of a picture on his peripheral vision. He stopped and turned his head, saw a picture of him and Tadashi with their hands formed a replica of heart shape; Hiro formed the bottom one and Tadashi formed the upper one.

 

Hiro smiled fondly, and shook his head.

 

The short teen grabbed a piece of paper and a red pen. With a smile, he began writing. He took his time until Aunt Cass screamed at him again, demanded him to come down and had lunch. Hiro screamed a quick 'okay' before he folded the paper into a paper airplane, carefully remembered the origami lesson he had received from his brother seven years ago.

 

After he was satisfied with his work, he opened the window and let go of the paper airplane. Hiro stared and stared and stared until the origami was out of his sight.

 

With a smile, he closed the window again and bolted downstairs.

 

~Echo~

 

_From: The awesome child prodigy._

_To: The biggest nerd alive._

_Tadashi, you were a nerd, and you **are** a nerd. Nothing could change that, not even your death._

_I also want to add that you must be unquestionably stupid and crazy because no one in his right mind would run into a blazing building just to save some old guy and said old guy turned out to be the one who set the building ablaze._

_Okay, that was beside the point. I can't help it, though. Can you blame me?_

_So, I just want to say that one day, after I am old and wrinkly and have been the world's most awesome inventor, I'll go straight to heaven and punch you right on your face (hopefully break your nose) for left me all alone in this world._

_For now, I don't belong in heaven._

_But one day, for sure, I'll go and get you._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Hiro the Awesomely Cool Prodigy._

_P.S_

_Because Hiro + Tadashi = Universe Changing Technology!_

~Echo~

 

_Zrrttt... Zrrrrtt..._

_"Hello, this is the echo from the past talking to you_

_So... basically this is fifteen years old Hiro talking to my seventy one years old self._

_Hey, are you ready for kicking Tadashi's ass, old guy?"_

_Zrrp--_

~Echo~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me if you like it or not. 
> 
> I have several unfinished oneshots and someone please tell me how to write an outline because my fanfics are going nowhere. lol. Like, I know how to start and to end but don't know what will happen in the middle. XD

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me if you like it or not. I'll post chapter 2 tomorrow... or next week.


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